Monday, May 2, 2011

Here lies Chocolate

I knew a girl once who told me she didn't need a man. Implying the only reason I had a husband was because I did. She claimed to not need a man because she was quite capable of taking care of herself.

I never argued. I was always sad to know she just didn't get it. I don't need Martin to take care of me. I am quite capable. But sometimes it's nice to have someone to look after the things that are hard. Someone to share the weight.

Reiley's rabbit Chocolate, lovingly known as Bunny Bunny, died today. She's been sick since before Easter and has not recovered despite antibiotics and our best efforts. Tonight Martin did what had to be done and put Bunny Bunny down.

She is buried in the field under the spruce trees where the cows won't trample her. It is the first grave on our property but likely won't be the last. We wrapped her in a blanket so her fur wouldn't get dirty and marked her place with a stone. I'll go back tomorrow and carve her name.

In the field with my man-boys and boy-men I cried and didn't hide my face. It's ok to be strong, but it's ok to be soft too. Together we take turns being both.

4 comments:

Dave Atkinson said...

The loss of a pet is always harder than we think. Good for you for not being ashamed of feelings. Love is love.

Natalie said...

Did you go back and carve a name? I wondered that today....when i read this yesterday.

Bon said...

i think it is good to be together and to cry and to say goodbye...in truth, i think we all need people (or animals) to do that with, or we risk becoming less. i hope your friend eventually changed her mind.

Misty said...

I told Reiley it was ok to be sad. He said "I know mom, but I'm not sad all the time because I'm a man." I replied that being a man doesn't mean anything. His reply, which left me quiet was "Yes it does, and you don't know, because you're not a man."
I think she deserved the tears. Otherwise she's just gone like she never was.