Monday, February 9, 2009

Gerbil on a wheel

Seems like yesterday. I hear that a lot. I say that a lot. Because it does. Just yesterday I'm sure I was in University. Or was it 13 years ago that I first walked on campus, so young and brilliantly stupid.

I have 2 babies who aren't babies anymore. The oldest even has begun to build a life I have no role in. A play within a play it seems. I have grown into adulthood with my wings wrapped around my young protecting them. Now in a blink, they've grown and are starting to test their own wings. Of this I'm proud, but it's different non the less. Seems like yesterday....

A new stage is beginning for me. I can unwrap my wings and stand and stretch. For the first time as an adult. And it's exciting to act for myself, to be free in some way to do so. When I stand up straight and look around though, I realize how much older I am and how little I've changed. For all the crumbs left behind me one would think I'd made it somewhere. But all I can say for certain, that I have gained in knowledge and wisdom in the years that flew past is that 1) I don't know shit, and 2) There is a lot more to learn.

Today I'm just as brilliantly stupid as I was as a child, as a student. So sure I am in what I know. But so stupid to think I know anything at all.

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